stop letting your mind create problems that don't exist

overthinking is the death of you.

Dec 09, 2025

Overthinking: The art of creating problems that don’t exist.

I’m starting to realize that overthinking is killing us. Literally. While thinking is completely normal, overthinking, which often comes in the form of events that haven’t occurred, is what drains us.

We get so lost in asking ourselves the what-ifs.

What if they betray my trust?
What if they don’t actually love me?
What if my actions are driving them away?

Overthinking can take place in practically anything, but its presence often takes place in relationships. With social media creating false realities of how relationships should look like, it’s quite easy to worry whether or not your partner truly loves you.

As an overthinker myself, I’m starting to realize that worry accomplishes nothing. Often, what we worry about isn’t even a possibility and are just false scenarios that our mind creates to send us spiraling.

We worry because we fear loss, failure, and disappointment. But none of these things are within our control, and that’s where acceptance comes into play.

Know that if it’s outside of your control, it deserves little mental energy.

That’s not to say that we can’t think, but we must not let something external affect our internal. These negative feelings and thoughts are normal, and no amount of stoicism that you think you have will be able to prevent them from reoccurring. They just will.

However, we must recognize that drowning in a state of constant worry will not solve the problem, and in fact makes matters much worse than they actually seem.

We don’t have control of what happens to us, but we do have control over how we respond to what happens to us. Easier said than done, but once you realize this fact, worry fades as a result of your acceptance.

In your control, you have the promises you made to yourself and others, your efforts, your thoughts, and your actions. Knowing this, you must focus on doing your part, not worrying about whether or not your partner did their part. That responsibility belongs to them.

This doesn’t mean accepting disrespect, but accepting that you have no control over how others behave. Once you stop trying to control every scenario in your life and just let life flow is the moment you can start truly living in this world instead of your mind.

Look, I’m not perfect, and I too struggle with these thoughts, but when we look at the root cause of our overthinking, most times it comes out of fear — fearing abandonment, failure, rejection. We all carry these fears, but we must not let the possibility of failure override the potential for success.

Why waste mental energy on unrealistic negative thoughts when you could instead focus that same energy on what you actually want to achieve?

We only have so much mental energy. With so many choices, we must choose to allow joy and allow life to flow instead of trying to control it.

Choose to be happy. Control what is within your control.

You won’t be perfect at this, but you will never become good until you try. The next time you catch yourself overthinking, remind yourself that these thoughts don’t contribute to the life you want to live, and instead, bring yourself back to this present moment.

Accept what is, and release the need to control what isn’t.